Since this is definitely the last time that I will experience pregnancy, birth, and all that goes with it. I want to write down some things that I think about or that I love about the whole process. I never want to forget how amazing the entire experience is...
From the moment I find out that I am pregnant, my whole thinking changes. I think about what I want to name the baby, what I should be doing to get ready for the baby, or how my life will change when he or she arrives. It's not like I obsess all day and all night about it, but any time there is a quiet moment or I am alone, my thinking always drifts back to something about the baby.
As I start to feel the baby move, I begin to wonder what she is doing in there. Is she trying to get comfortable? Is she "dancing" to the music that I am listening to? What is she going to look like? There is something about feeling the baby move that makes the pregnancy seem so much more real.
Every appointment I go to, there is always that moment when the midwife puts the jelly on my belly to listen to the heartbeat that I hold my breath just until I hear that heartbeat on the monitor. There is just that moment of nervousness each time, and then a moment of relief when that strong heartbeat is heard.
Even though there are some things that are hard about a growing belly, it is always so amazing to see how my body changes throughout the months to accommodate the sweet baby that is growing. Each pregnancy, there has been a certain morning that I woke up, and it really hit me, "Wow, I am pregnant!"
As my due date gets nearer, I always wonder if I will know for sure when I am in labor. I will definitely say that no matter what, I always, always knew when I was in labor. Once that moment came, there was not a doubt in my mind that the time was here!
Of course, the labor and delivery is the most amazing part of the whole experience. When I get in there, and it gets to be time to push, adrenaline takes over, and I seem to just go to another place. I am there, and I am focused, but there is another part of me that takes over. I am lucky that I was able to deliver all my babies naturally and with midwives, the way that I wanted to. There is nothing in the world like the pain of when that baby is actually coming out, but oh my, the relief when they are out is amazing! At that moment, all pain, all stress, and all anxiety is gone. The midwife puts that sweet little gooey miracle in my arms, and it is a feeling like nothing, absolutely, nothing else in the entire world. Not a single other thing in the world matters at that moment. The baby that I carried, dreamt about, and loved for 9 months is here in my arms...healthy and beautiful. The feeling is a feeling of peace, happiness, and total overwhelming joy. Looking into the face of this precious baby for the very first time is more than I can even put into words!
Then, the baby is here. Instantly, I love them. Instantly, this sweet girl is part of our family. Instantly, it feels like this was exactly what I was supposed to do with my life.
Days pass, and it is still amazing to think that this 8 pound miracle fit inside my belly just a couple days before. It seems impossible that she grew from a tiny little bean to this perfect baby in just 9 months. Her toes are so tiny, her little fingers begin stretching out, and her sweet little eyes opening to take in the world. It's just the most amazing experience from start to finish!
Seriously, I'm not usually this sappy...but I just can't help it. Must be the hormones! :)
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